Complicated Simplicity

I have a tendency to want things to be very black and white. It's either on or off, hot or cold, yes or no. Could this be from my upbringing? Living with a father who brought his military life home? Things with him are simple. They either are or they're not. There is no gray with him. If you say you're going to do something, do it; there's not a lot of discussion on why.

I see myself now doing the same thing that he does. There are times when this is a good thing, however there are times when your life needs to have a certain level of complicity. There are times when being simple can cause more problems for a person.

I am learning to be a little more complicated, but be patient; it's not that simple for me.

Happy Halloween

Had a halloween party....don't remember that much of it......had a fantastic time!!!

This is me as "Fifi" the French Maid

Into my subconscious

Do you really want to go there? Hell, I don't even want to go there. So, now you're reading into my subconscious? I don't think you're really ready for what you would find there.....

Do I care who reads this? Not really(you know I mean it).
Do I think about you? yes
Do I think about you more than I would like to admit? yes
Am I scared? out of my mind
Do I know what I want? yes
Am I happy when I think about you? yes
Are you in my dreams? yes
Will I admit this to you? not yet ;)
Is this a big deal? not to me
What am I afraid of? that you'll know how I feel, and not feel the same way
Is this about you? YES
Is this too much for you?

I feel silly....it's late....I have no one else to talk to

This said something else before I changed it.

Better to be a smart-ass, than a dumb-ass!

Little things about me:

* I can't moonwalk...(trust me, I've tried - ask my sister)
* I can drop-it-like-it's-hot!!
* I can mimic a bird's whistle
* I used to play the french horn in high school and I still own one
* I cannot swim. However, I can keep myself from drowning
* I don't like polka-dots - they freak me out
* I love to sing in the car - Album release party soon!
* I make the best potato salad
* I scare easily
* I love to read....anything. Novels, magazines(even the gossip ones!), newspapers, you name it
* I hate being bored
* I love to go out to eat
* I am a food-tv fanatic
* I'd love to take a cooking class
* I collect extra-cheesy shot glasses (the cheesier, the better)
* I really don't give a shit :) (I put that on there for you)
* No, really....I don't
* I've always been a smart-ass(Like my grandmother says "better to be a smart-ass, then a dumb-ass!")
* I love "Best Week Ever" on VH1
* This time in my life is so exciting because I don't know what to expect
* I haven't been this happy in a long time (if this comment bothers you, it should)
* I need to workout
* I will when I get home
* I'd rather do something else
* I secretly can't wait to love again
* I get taken too seriously sometimes
* I think it's funny

The way you make me feel

How I've missed you

There are times when I secretly think of you

wishing I could steal away five minutes

wishing that no one would interrupt

wishing that I was able to give everything to you

There are days when I miss you so terribly

days when I just want to hold you

There are so many times when I wish

there were just me and you

and I was able to be myself and not

worry what anyone else thought

Just to give you my heart and soul and

know that you wouldn't ask for anything more

You know me better than anyone else, don't you?

No matter what happens in life, I know

I'll always have you...my journal

Arrghhhh!!!!!

Don't you just hate folding a fitted sheet?

One of my most favorite songs...heard it today....took me back

I just love this song.....I heard it today and had to go find the lyrics......here they are enjoy.

Seal

Love's Divine

Then the rainstorm came, over me

And I felt my spirit break

I had lost all of my, belief you see

And realized my mistake

But time threw a prayer, to me

And all around me became still

I need love, love's divine

Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind

Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary

And I felt my spirit fly

I had found all of my reality

I realize what it takes

'Cause I need love, love's divine

Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind

Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bet (don't bend), don't break (don't break)

Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake

'Cause love can help me know my name

Well I try to say there's nothing wrong

But inside I felt me lying all along

But the message here was plain to see

Believe me

'Cause I need love, love's divine

Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind

Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bet (don't bend), don't break (don't break)

Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake

'Cause love can help me know my name

Love can help me know my name.

This topic changed like 12 times

I must have changed this topic 12 times......you have no idea the crap that I've written. I've erased them because, well.....some of them were too personal to post. I always worry about some of the things that I post and whether people that I know will read them and interpret them the wrong way. Usually, the only person that really gets me is my sister. She knows the pain that I've experienced, the happiness and the confusion that goes along with this thing called life. She has no idea how much I love her(I do, sissy!!)

Anyway........time to stop the tears. I can be such a cry-baby sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I've got tears on reserve, just waiting for their time to shine:)

In the midst of creation

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

The Art of Cooking

Have you ever just sat back and watched someone cook? Someone who really enjoys cooking? You can see their genius at work. There's something very powerful about someone cooking. The quality of the meal depends on the imagination of the creator. I'm talking about someone who take whatever's available and create a masterpiece.

A recipe isn't needed, just a passion and and a desire to create something that can cause a person to have flashbacks while they're eating.

Have you ever taken a bite of food and it took you to a place that you hadn't been? A time that has passed? That's how you know that whoever cooked for you, whether it was a parent, a friend, a professional cook, or even a lover; had a passion for what they were doing.

My hope for everyone who reads this is that you experience a passionate cook at least once in your life.

Bon appetite