I write because it is a passion of mine. Sometimes, I feel as though I can express myself better through writing than talking. Sometimes its to get things off my mind. Sometimes its just to vent my feelings about random things to no one in particular.
Writing however puts things in stone - sort of. It also allows me to look back at how I felt at a particular time. I like to look back at my blog to see what I was thinking. Only I truly know what a particular blog topic was inspired by. Some people think they know, but they are wrong 50 percent of the time.
Sometimes I look back and think...'what the hell was wrong with me?'
I think blogging has been very refreshing and very cleansing. There are times that I debate posting what I may have written, but in the end....my blog is just like me - what you see is what you get.
I was about to say that I don't write for anyone, that I write just for me. That's not exactly true. There are times that I write only for me - those don't get posted.
I hope everyone who reads my blog enjoy it. I also hope that they don't think I'm crazy :)
Vintage Me >.<
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Tears of joy!
So my son started kindergarten the other day. Yes, I cried. It was tears of joy - not separation anxiety; well maybe a little separation anxiety. I didn't have the urge to stay with him in the classroom, I was just so happy that he walked into kindergarten, introduced himself and sat down and started coloring. It was relieving to know that he was genuinely excited to be in the "Big School". He loved his uniform, his backpack, his school supplies and even eating lunch in the cafeteria.
So what I cried? I'm proud that I cried. I know that I've started him on the right foot and that he cares about education and he knows that I care about it too. He knew that I was supposed to be at work, but I told him that it was a very important day and that I wanted to walk him to school. We talked about meeting new people and his teacher. We talked about the cafeteria and the library.
So yeah....I cried. We've established that.
School let out at 315, and I met him at the door. He came skipping out with a huge smile and a birthday crown on his head, holding his teachers hand. She said that he had a great day...no tears from him!! He talked non-stop about his day. He wanted to go back the next day, but I explained that he was going to go back on the following Monday. He actually got a little sad.
In all....it was a great day. The headache that I got from crying all morning was totally worth it by the end of the day. My son hugged me and told me that he had a wonderful day and that he loved kindergarten. I guess I'll eventually learn to love it too :)
Here's a picture:
Vintage**sniff, sniff** Me >.<
So what I cried? I'm proud that I cried. I know that I've started him on the right foot and that he cares about education and he knows that I care about it too. He knew that I was supposed to be at work, but I told him that it was a very important day and that I wanted to walk him to school. We talked about meeting new people and his teacher. We talked about the cafeteria and the library.
So yeah....I cried. We've established that.
School let out at 315, and I met him at the door. He came skipping out with a huge smile and a birthday crown on his head, holding his teachers hand. She said that he had a great day...no tears from him!! He talked non-stop about his day. He wanted to go back the next day, but I explained that he was going to go back on the following Monday. He actually got a little sad.
In all....it was a great day. The headache that I got from crying all morning was totally worth it by the end of the day. My son hugged me and told me that he had a wonderful day and that he loved kindergarten. I guess I'll eventually learn to love it too :)
Here's a picture:
Vintage**sniff, sniff** Me >.<
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Looking for love in all the wrong places
You never know where or when God is going to send a message to you. I was working tonight at WW and this lady came in to weigh and we got to talking about God's grace. She was saying that after her divorce she was searching for love. She finally realized that she needed to stop looking for love because no man could love her the way God loved her.
No one could love her more than the Creator of love could love her.
That hit me like a ton of bricks.
While I'm out there looking, I need to realize that I've got all the love I need. God gives it to me everyday. On those nights that I wished that a certain someone was here holding me, God was holding me. When I waited for that someone to call or to come by, I always had God. He never left me and He never will. God wants me to want Him the way that I've wanted someone else. When I give myself to Him - everything else will fall into place.
Praise the Lord!! God is good to me.
Vintage Me >.<
No one could love her more than the Creator of love could love her.
NO ONE CAN LOVE ME MORE THAN THAN THE CREATOR OF LOVE HIMSELF CAN LOVE ME!!!
That hit me like a ton of bricks.
While I'm out there looking, I need to realize that I've got all the love I need. God gives it to me everyday. On those nights that I wished that a certain someone was here holding me, God was holding me. When I waited for that someone to call or to come by, I always had God. He never left me and He never will. God wants me to want Him the way that I've wanted someone else. When I give myself to Him - everything else will fall into place.
Praise the Lord!! God is good to me.
Vintage Me >.<
I know I've been changed
I've been changed! I know I have...let me tell you how I know.
I've been working on my relationship with God. I've been not only reading the bible more, but studying the bible; really trying to understand and grasp what God has for me. There are things that I try to abstain from because I know that God has a plan for me and all he wants me to do is to follow Him. I've been following so many of the wrong things in life for so long, it's time for me to follow God.
It's funny that once you try to live your life for God, the devil really will tempt you and try to make you sway from your course. For example, I've been getting my finances in order and working on reducing my debt.
So what happens - a rock breaks my window that I have to replace. What do I do? Do I curse and give up? No!!! I get the window fixed and praise God that I had the money to do it without having to borrow from someone else.
What else happens? Tax-free weekend! Time to shop - I love to shop and now theoretically I can save money because it's tax-free weekend. Do I shop? No!! I've got a plan and I'm sticking to it.
There was another situation with a friend that I felt was disrespecting me. I had planned on confronting this person for the wrong I felt they did. I had it all planned out...it was going to be good. Then a funny thing called Bible Study happened. We talked about conflict. How appropriate. Have you ever had that feeling in bible study or in church that the pastor is talking to you? I felt this way, only I was hoping that he was talking to the chick behind me :)
Anyway...I knew that God was working through my Pastor and letting me know, "Hey!! You know that's not what you should be doing". Pastor gave the example of how women ask God to find them a husband. They list all the characteristics that they're looking for and say, "I'm gonna turn it over to God". Then, they decide that they're going to help God by wearing a skirt with a slit up to there - just so that when that man finds her, he'll know what he's getting!! He said, "God doesn't need your help!!"
I knew it and didn't want to admit it. I know that God doesn't want me acting that way, and He knew He needed me to hear it. I heard it. I heard Him. I knew that what I had planned to do was wrong. At that moment, all I could do was thank Him. Thank Him for putting me in Bible Study that night, Thank Him for making my mind clear to hear His words, Thank Him for knowing that even though I might slip - I can always turn to Him for help.
I went home that night excited. I called my best friend and told her what happened and she asked me what I was going to do. I said I wasn't going to do anything. God will take care of it, God will show me what to do. It's not up to me, it's up to Him.
As far as the disrespectful friend - that's not up to me anymore. God is going to handle that situation. All I can do is continue to be the best person, the best mother, the best worker, the best Christian that I know how to be. All I can work on is me. I can't change other people, I can't influence other people to do what I want them to do...it's up to them to hear what God wants them to do.
Vintage Me >.<
I've been working on my relationship with God. I've been not only reading the bible more, but studying the bible; really trying to understand and grasp what God has for me. There are things that I try to abstain from because I know that God has a plan for me and all he wants me to do is to follow Him. I've been following so many of the wrong things in life for so long, it's time for me to follow God.
It's funny that once you try to live your life for God, the devil really will tempt you and try to make you sway from your course. For example, I've been getting my finances in order and working on reducing my debt.
So what happens - a rock breaks my window that I have to replace. What do I do? Do I curse and give up? No!!! I get the window fixed and praise God that I had the money to do it without having to borrow from someone else.
What else happens? Tax-free weekend! Time to shop - I love to shop and now theoretically I can save money because it's tax-free weekend. Do I shop? No!! I've got a plan and I'm sticking to it.
There was another situation with a friend that I felt was disrespecting me. I had planned on confronting this person for the wrong I felt they did. I had it all planned out...it was going to be good. Then a funny thing called Bible Study happened. We talked about conflict. How appropriate. Have you ever had that feeling in bible study or in church that the pastor is talking to you? I felt this way, only I was hoping that he was talking to the chick behind me :)
Anyway...I knew that God was working through my Pastor and letting me know, "Hey!! You know that's not what you should be doing". Pastor gave the example of how women ask God to find them a husband. They list all the characteristics that they're looking for and say, "I'm gonna turn it over to God". Then, they decide that they're going to help God by wearing a skirt with a slit up to there - just so that when that man finds her, he'll know what he's getting!! He said, "God doesn't need your help!!"
I knew it and didn't want to admit it. I know that God doesn't want me acting that way, and He knew He needed me to hear it. I heard it. I heard Him. I knew that what I had planned to do was wrong. At that moment, all I could do was thank Him. Thank Him for putting me in Bible Study that night, Thank Him for making my mind clear to hear His words, Thank Him for knowing that even though I might slip - I can always turn to Him for help.
I went home that night excited. I called my best friend and told her what happened and she asked me what I was going to do. I said I wasn't going to do anything. God will take care of it, God will show me what to do. It's not up to me, it's up to Him.
As far as the disrespectful friend - that's not up to me anymore. God is going to handle that situation. All I can do is continue to be the best person, the best mother, the best worker, the best Christian that I know how to be. All I can work on is me. I can't change other people, I can't influence other people to do what I want them to do...it's up to them to hear what God wants them to do.
Vintage Me >.<
Monday, August 06, 2007
Excuses
Excuses are tools of the incompetent used to build monuments of nothing and bridges that lead to nowhere.
For those who specialize in them shall never be good at anything else.
For those who specialize in them shall never be good at anything else.
Excuses are lies we tell ourselves to avoid dealing with unpleasant truths. But as long as we buy into those excuses, we can never move past them. Instead of addressing the underlying problem, we merely hide the symptoms. I read this earlier today and I thought it was poignant. There are so many times that we make excuses for any number of things; weight loss, jobs, family, relationships. Why do we make excuses for things? Is it because we don't really want to face what is in front of us? Is it because we don't want to let people down with the truth about things? Or is it because we've convinced ourselves that our problems don't really exist and that the true fault lies within everyone else?
What's your excuse?
Vintage Me>.<
What's your excuse?
Vintage Me>.<
Friday, August 03, 2007
Credit
I am guilty of giving people too much credit. I tend to have higher expectations of people than they live up to.
I consistently wait and expect people to do things that I would do if I were them. This tends to cause me to be disappointed. I tend to sit and wait on things instead of either making them happen myself or realizing that certain people are not going to do what I expect of them. I put people on thrones that they have no reason to be on.
That shit is over. I'm tired of being walked on and treated the way I have been. I deserve better than what I've been getting. Find another sucker - I've been licked for the last time(take that anyway you want to).
Vintage Me >.<
I consistently wait and expect people to do things that I would do if I were them. This tends to cause me to be disappointed. I tend to sit and wait on things instead of either making them happen myself or realizing that certain people are not going to do what I expect of them. I put people on thrones that they have no reason to be on.
That shit is over. I'm tired of being walked on and treated the way I have been. I deserve better than what I've been getting. Find another sucker - I've been licked for the last time(take that anyway you want to).
Vintage Me >.<
True Friends......hmmmm......
I found this very interesting article the other day. It made me wonder about the people in my life that I considered "true friends".......
True Friendship - Recognition
How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.
True Friendship - Relationship, Trust, Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.
Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.
True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.
True Friendship - Examples of Real Friendship
Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt.
Proverbs 18:19 in the New Living Translation says: "It's harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars." When we've offended a true friend - whether by breaking a trust or by speaking the truth with love - we risk losing that friendship. We must be careful not to break the trust. But when not speaking the truth will cause greater hurt in our friend's life, we must be willing to sacrifice our needs for those of our friend. That is true friendship.
Vintage Me >.<
True Friendship - Recognition
How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.
True Friendship - Relationship, Trust, Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.
Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.
True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.
True Friendship - Examples of Real Friendship
Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt.
Proverbs 18:19 in the New Living Translation says: "It's harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars." When we've offended a true friend - whether by breaking a trust or by speaking the truth with love - we risk losing that friendship. We must be careful not to break the trust. But when not speaking the truth will cause greater hurt in our friend's life, we must be willing to sacrifice our needs for those of our friend. That is true friendship.
Vintage Me >.<
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Worst Car Week Ever
1. Monday
- coming home, a rock hits my back passenger window and shatters it
- can't pick the boys up with broken glass everywhere; have to borrow ex-husbands car
2. Tuesday
- still driving the ex's car until I can figure out how to get my window to the shop
3. Wednesday
- ex-husband takes car to shop to get fixed; cost $123
4. Wednesday
- while still in ex-husbands vehicle, I'm involved in a minor accident with a co-worker in the parking lot at work. Co-worker is acting as though I T-boned her at the intersection of Hickory Hill and Winchester
5. Thursday
- while leaving registration for my son, ex-husband calls and states that a rock just went through his driver side window and shattered it!!
I am hiring a driver and buying an armored car.
- coming home, a rock hits my back passenger window and shatters it
- can't pick the boys up with broken glass everywhere; have to borrow ex-husbands car
2. Tuesday
- still driving the ex's car until I can figure out how to get my window to the shop
3. Wednesday
- ex-husband takes car to shop to get fixed; cost $123
4. Wednesday
- while still in ex-husbands vehicle, I'm involved in a minor accident with a co-worker in the parking lot at work. Co-worker is acting as though I T-boned her at the intersection of Hickory Hill and Winchester
5. Thursday
- while leaving registration for my son, ex-husband calls and states that a rock just went through his driver side window and shattered it!!
I am hiring a driver and buying an armored car.
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