Depression is a BITCH!! The more you read about it, the worse you think you are. Even when you think you're feeling better, one thing can happen to set you waaayyy back. The problem is that everyone wants to analyze you and figure out what started the depression, but everyone comes up with different comclusions. "It's your childhood; you moved around too much" "It's obviously post-partum, you just need an anti-depressant to take for the rest of your life" "It's just the stressors of the early years of married life, it'll settle out soon"
Between the diagnosis (both self and physician) and numerous medications, one to help concentration and one to help mood swings (yeah, right!), I kind of lost myself. I relied too heavily on other things without looking at the one constancy in my life......my father.
3 comments:
I will set up all of your book signings... wait, you are publishing this in a series of volumes, like Harry Potter or Judy Bluhm... Write on sister!! I could not imagine your pain... I pray for you and your father daily. Maybe his 'snap' as you called it is what you needed to breakthough your inner struggles..
Well now, at least these days its okay to say you're depressed or that you are at a crossroads in your life. Not so long ago you just had a quiet "nervous breakdown" and let it go at that. You took a nerve pill, a shot or two of "ligua", sat on your front porch and let the neighbors talk about you, until you pulled yourself together or they put you in the hospital for a "little" rest.
Then the tides turned and depression was alright, everybody got it, kinda like a cold. You go to therapy tell them how miserable your life is and how much you hate everything about your situation and they give you a coupla pills and you have a coupla drinks but instead of sitting on your porch so your neighbors can whisper, you meet at the community center and trade stories, that is if you are lucky enough to realize that you are depressed. If you don't know that you are depressed, then you take on more and more stuff until you implode and lose everything, then everyone will say, girl...I tried to tell you that something was wrong but you wouldn't listen, now look at you. You gon' have to start all over, too bad you lost everything and don't have insurance to go to the therapist or the doctor. Hummm, maybe your preacher can help but not if you haven't paid your tithes. Here take a drink cause I think they finta repo your car! UMPH see you later when you back on your feet.
Either way somebody's gonna stick their fingers in your pie, the best you can do is slap their fingers, move the pie and tell them you don't like people eating off your plate.
Did I say WOW!!! I hope no one sticks their fingers in my pie, that sounds nasty... YUCK!!
Momma, you got msome pills? I dont feel as funny as I used to and now I am ThePressed...
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