What about the next dude?

I was recently asked the question, "What are you looking for in a man?" This is not an easy question to answer if you've been through a string of bad relationships. It's obvious that you don't want somebody like the yahoo before :) You want a good man, but what defines a good man? Here is my list of qualifications (in no particular order):

- Single
- Faithful (to me and to himself)
- Loyal
- Literate(reads for sheer enjoyment, for educating purposes, reads to children)
- Sound(mentally)
- Intelligent but not arrogant
- Considerate
- Strong (emotionally, spiritually, mentally)
- Fun
- Honest with his feelings, thoughts and desires
- Responsible
- Emotionally available
- Eager to learn new things and new ways to do old things
- Rich in spirtiual beliefs
- Employed
- Confidant
- Sensitive and gentle, but not a pushover
- Articulate

Some people think of a good man as the man who will ride in on a white horse and climb to the tallest tower to rescue you, in a sense that's what some women are looking for; someone to rescue them. I do not want anybody to rescue me, I want someone who will go through the fire with me. Someone who is willing to stand by my side in good and bad. Someone who will call me on my shit, but never degrading. Someone who'll let me pick the movie from time to time. Someone who knows how to be sexy. Someone who'll make the biscuits because he knows I'll burn them. Someone who'll surprise me with a homecooked meal. Someone whose not afraid to make a pallet on the floor and fall asleep watching movies with me. Someone who loves his family, whether they are disfunctional or not. Someone who loves music. Someone who will never put his hands on a woman.

I read somewhere that the search for a good man begins with yourself. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching, prayer, meditation on the premise of Am I a good woman? There were many times in relationships that I was told that I wasn't good enough. Sometimes it was subtle, "Why don't you grow your hair?, Why don't you wear more skirts?, Why don't you wear make-up everyday?" Sometimes it was very direct, "You know you're not really my type." It's hard to be there for someone and try to accept their faults, but to have them constantly throw yours in your face. I struggle because I have been in abusive(mentally, physically, emotionally) relationships before, I don't want to find myself in another one.

I know that a good man is out there for me, we just haven't found each other yet.