There are still elements in my life that I'm not 100% satistfied with...money, job, love life...little things :)
Money and job - they kind of go hand in hand...I'm not going there. I refuse to discuss my job in my blog.
Love life - I think the theme song for my love life at this moment is "Another Again". I feel like I'm in this revolving door and no matter where I exit - it winds me up in the same damn place. What is this telling me? Try another building with a door that doesn't revolve? Or...maybe I'm opening the same door for a reason? hmmm.......we'll see. I try not to make hasty decisions about things, but I keep coming up with the same conclusion. It's so complicated though. It's a road that I've been down before and I don't know if I want to travel it again. I think I've even blogged about this before. Just because you have a history with someone doesn't meant that you should necessarily repeat it. It seems like whatever ended what happened before was an issue - what makes a person thinks that issue is completely resolved.
I've been in situations where I tried to tell myself that I was over somethng and I wasn't - I was trying to convince myself that I was okay and I wasn't. That problem was always looming in the back of my mind.
I once dated a guy that cheated on me. He admitted what was done and we tried to fix it and get past what happened, but in the back of my mind, I always wondered if he was doing what he said he was doing; was he where he said he was; was he with who he said he was with. It finally dawned on me one day that everything that I thought was actually true. I finally listened to my intuition and confronted him. In the beginning, he denied it, but eventually he came clean and told me that he was still unfaithful - with person that I thought it was with. I knew at that moment that I wouldn't be able to completely trust him - even as much as I loved him. I had to let him go - I wasn't willing to be the other woman.
I'm not willing to be that now. Going forward into any relationship that I venture into, I'm not willing to be that girl anymore. This being said, if I choose to enter into any type of relationship with someone, there will be some very open and honest discussions that are going to have to happen. I don't to enter into anything and not be 100% happy with what's going on...I have always felt that the the keys to a succesful relationship are trust, honesty and love.
Anyway...on to some lighter, fun stuff!!! My office Christmas party was this past weekend (thank you to my personal stylist). I saw this dress and had to have it...matched it up with the perfect shoes and accessories, but I lost my earrings dancing at the party :(
this is me and flex at the party - between the 2 of us, we've lost close to 60lbs!!
We had so much fun at the party, food was great....we all pitched in and got a hotel room so we didn't have to worry about drinking and driving, so after the party we all headed back to the room with out "borrowed" tray of chocolate covered strawberries and passed out in the room. At first I really wanted a date for the party, but the jerk backed out on me, so me and some of my girlfriends all went solo - we had more fun by ourselves than if we had had dates. I did manage to show off my dress for someone anyway, though ;)
that's it for now....
XOXO,
Vintage Me >.<
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