Choices

I am one of the worst people I know at making a decision. I'm always so afraid that I'll make the wrong one, that it takes me forever to decide on something. Now, I'm not just talking about big, life changing decisions, but also small ones as well. I can usually make a pretty good argument for either option in a decision. There are times that I don't make good choices; let me rephrase that - there are times in my life that I don't make smart choices. I don't take enough time to weigh all of the options and I go on my instinct. Sometimes, I'm the only person that is affected and other times, it's a whole slew of people. I can think of some decisions that I've made this year that I really should have thought a little on them before I decided. The problem with some of them is that once I realized that I didn't think things through and that I should done things differently; I was too afraid to reverse the decision. I didn't want to hurt and/or disappoint people. On one occasion, I couldn't live with the guilt any longer and I had to hurt the other person. I never wanted to hurt this person and they didn't deserve that type of pain. To that person, I am very sorry.

I've been trying to take my time on things; choices about my job, relationships and even things I do with my children. I'm learning to be patient, not to rush and wait on things. It's a hard lesson to go through day by day, but I know that I'll be a better person for it.